Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Upcoming Holidays

It's hard to believe that we're entering a second holiday season without our little man. Last year I was still so in the thick of it, I could barely even think of celebrating. But this year, I'm determined to have a bit of joy with the season. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday but last year I couldn't even muster putting up our tree. I did manage to put up a small tree and decorate it with all of Bryston's things though.

This year, I'm actually looking forward to putting up our tree. It still hurts knowing that 2 very special little angels wont be with us to celebrate but I think I'm at the point of knowing that even though they're not here physically, they're never very far from us.

I'm nearing the end of my first semester at school and so far pulling down all A's! Woo Hoo! I really am shocked at that, but I know in my heart that all praise there goes to God. I couldn't be doing any of these things without His help. In fact I wanted to ask you guys something....

Our final speech is supposed to be a tribute speech and 8 minutes long. 8 MINUTES! So far our longest speech has only been 4 minutes so that in itself is wreaking my nerves! The teacher said it has to be about someone famous that we've never met and that has made an impact on our lives. The only person that I can even think of doing is Richard K. Olsen, Founder & CEO of the national stillbirth society. But here's my delima; so far I've only done 1 serious speech and I got so emotional I was almost in tears (about my Dad's wreck). All of my other speeches have been humorous not to mention the fact that the majority of the class is high school kids. I doubt they'd even care. But on the other hand, they need to care. They need to know about that this is a real thing that happens. I'm so stinking nervous about this one! I'm scared that I'll get up there and be a big ole blubbering mess! What do you think? Would you do it?

Also, for those of you also entering the 2nd holiday season without your angels with you, how do feel this year? Do you feel better able to enjoy the season or are you planning to do anything special in their honor?


Misty said...

This is our 2nd year, too, and I am able to access that holiday joy a little bit more this year.

I bought a little 3 foot tree just for our baby Isaac. I really felt the sting of the holidays not being able to shop for my should-have-been son, but this remedied that a little bit. I was able to browse and browse looking for those perfect ornaments for his tree. This year I moved his last year's ornaments to our big tree and this year I spent many hours looking for "I" ornaments. I was able to find several. Each year I'll do something different for him, but at the very least, I feel like I've been able to shop for him like he deserves and I want.

xoxo M.

PB&J said...

I too feel better this year. Able to honor him... and celebrate what he did bring to my life... that is why I think you should GO for that speach. Don't hold back. Grieve out loud right... You will be amazing.

Lisette said...

Your speech is going to come out wonderful because it is something that is close to your heart. Cry if you must and don't hold back. You are going to ace it.

This is my second xmas w/out Sami. I am at a totally different place this year, thank goodness. I will put up my tree again w/pink bulbs in her honor. It's my Sami tree, last year I only had a few pink things so this year I am adding more.
I hope the holidays are good to you and you are able to have more joy ((HUGS)).

Andrea said...


Sending you love and prayers this Holiday season. It's hard, no matter if it's the first holiday season or the second or third, forth, understand what I'm saying. Praying for your heart and praying that peace surrounds you in the coming days.

Much Love

Danielle said...

Definitely go for the speech! I just wrote a post based on the lines of "If we stand up and talk about our babies, maybe it will be "normal" for the next generation to be able to talk about a child of theirs that has passed." You will have a whole troop of woman praying for God to give you the grace and strength to make it through your presentation. Let me know EXACTLY when your supposed to do it and I'll even set an alarm and pray for you the whole time :)

I'm still dreading the holidays, but not as bad as last year. It wouldn't be so bad if Christmas stuff hadn't been out for a month already!!!

I plan on naming a star after Wyatt tbis year and getting it in a constellation I can actually see when I look up at the sky from where I live. I've also thought about build-a-bear, and I will definitely be adding some sort of a christmas elephant to his collection.

Holly said...

Way to go on all A's! That's great! I would totally do the speech on that guy. I think it would be a great one.

I think I feel better this year than last year. I think it's hardest when it is the firsts. I plan to do a little tree again this year with ornaments.

Ebe said...

Congrats on your A's!!! That's wonderful!

I would go for it! I think it's a great idea to do the speech on stillbirth. I know you can do it, but if you choose not to, that's okay too.