So Thursday is my 28th birthday and instead of being something to be celebrated all I can think is after Thursday, its exactly a month until Bryston's 1st Heavenly birthday. I mean I knew that his birthday would be emotional and hard for me, but I really didn't think it would start this soon. I have been so moody and teary this week. Poor Ty! My moods change faster than he can turn his head.
I feel like I'm at a point that there just arent any words anymore. All I have to say is; I hate this, this isn't fair, and beyond that I'm just speechless. I just feel discontented and not whole. Somethings missing and it's my baby. So all I can think is, will I ever be happy again? I mean really truly happy in this life?
Today I sit here and I feel as if I've made no progress. I feel the same as I did nearly 11 months ago. Lost and broken and wondering how I will survive this. So I guess it's just a hard day in a hard week on the way to even harder days ahead. I just want to be done with this, to lay it all down and walk away, but I know that's impossible. No one can just walk away from somthing like this and be fine. So I'm doing the best I can today, and that's all that I can do. I think I need some prayers and a really amazing sparrow visit today.
So because I'm sad I found some sad art; because lets face it, misery does love company.
These pieces make me wonder why the artist are so sad? Who did they loose? Looking at these it's feels nice to see what I'm feeling expressed in art and that the artists get it somehow, ya know? Sorry to be so depressing today, I know I havent blogged in a few days then to come back on such a low note, isnt much fun so I apologize. Its just one of those weeks. Thanks for listening anyway!
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Posted by The Blue Sparrow at 3:58 PM