Monday, January 4, 2010

Last nights Desperate Housewives

So did anyone catch last nights Desperate Housewives? Warning, Plot ruined below!
Lynette did in fact loose one of her twins. I had heard rumors that this might happen in this episode but I wanted to watch anyway. I wanted to know if they would really bring this horror to light and how they would handle it. While I missed what exactly caused the loss, I am torn about how I feel about this.

On one hand I am so glad that the loss of a child and the effect that has is being brought out of the shadows I am a little sickened at how her characters husband, Tom seemed to handle the news. He seemed just fine. I was struck at just how fine he seemed. I know I have stated that I wanted Ty to be more emotional with me in the aftermath of our losses but at the initial news and days/months after he did and has cried with me. He just isn't as open to the emotions and talking about it as I am. I am coming to terms with that. But Tom, on the show, told her that they lost one but the other baby lived and that they would be fine. WTH? I don't understand that? Am I the only one bothered by last nights episode? Lynette's character I was fine with her performance but his I don't know, just rubbed me the wrong way. Im also wondering how they are going to handle this in future episodes or if this was a one time mention. Are they going to address the aftermath of a loss like this or leave it be? I know its silly, its just a television show. But then again, that topic is pretty personal. I'm not bothered to the point of writing the show or losing any sleep over it, but I wanted to share my take on the episode and wondered how other parents who have been their took it. Did you think it was tasteful or could have been better portrayed?


Jane said...

I saw it.. I agree with you about Tom.
I do however think it is good that the show tackled t he 'taboo' subject- unfortunatly- my guess is that this plot- of baby loss will end there... they probably won't show the aftermath- the weeks, months, years of sorrow- changed lives, and unfinished dreams... so tackled it they did... but finish the story- the probably won't.

I do like that Lynette, at the end said they had named him, and see,ed visibly upset- sometimes on shows baby loss is completely blown off.

Bree said...

I was looking forward to this episode because I presumed Lynette would lose their babies. I thought it was a good opportunnity to portray loss in the media. But, I was very disappointed in how little they showed. I don't think she named her son, either. She said, "we were going to name him..." I wrote about this on my facebook last night actually. I am disappointed, however not surprised.

How are you? I've been thinking about you. There have been three losses of rainbow babies (that I know of) here in the blogging world in the recent weeks. It is so incredibly sucky and cruel. I've been thinking of all three of you a lot. I'm so sorry and hope you are feeling alright.

Mary said...

I haven't seen the episode yet, but I doubt they will spend too much time on the subject. How can seeing that EVERY area of life is changed, harder, sadder, and deeper be an entertaining plot line?

Franchesca Cox said...

Jennifer, I didn't see the episode but from the sound of it, it sounds like they sugarcoated the father's grief, and like Bree said I am not surprised either. I was thinking about you today and have been praying for you.


The Blue Sparrow said...

They did name the baby, patrick. I remember because I was waiting to see if they would. I also really like Lynettes charachter.I agree with you Jane that they probably leave it be and not say anymore about it, which is dissapointing.
Bree, that is so sad that there have been so many losses out here in blogland. It is cruel and it leaves me wondering where God is in all of this still. I am angry and sad and I feel like Im starting all over in my grief process and that all the progress I had made has gone out the window. It's not fair.

DeniFay said...

I did like how they handled Lynette with the loss, it looked real. I also truly loved Gabbi's comment, that she didn't know what to say. Maybe people will learn from that and leave off those horrible things that people say that are supposed to help but only hurt!! I thought Tom's reaction just furthered the misconception o how deeply husbands feel this loss and I was disappointed by it!

Jennifer I've been thinking about you a lot, just wanted you to know that your hurt and loss is still on my mind!!

Just Breathe said...

I did see it and I wondered how my dear baby loss mothers would feel about it. I was happy to see the subject being brought to people's attention.

Andrea said...

I did see the episode and braced myself for what it was going to reveal. Yes, Tom's reaction was disappointing, he didn't wail and cry and scream, but just said "we lost the baby" Perhaps they were trying to portray a husbands strength as his wife was riddled with pain and grief. And, this was Hollywoods portrayal, and they rarely get it right. They wanted to viewer to feel for the mother. No excuse, it was poor writing...most likely written by someone who has never experienced this first hand. However, I am glad they crossed the line of such a taboo subject. It said to me that we are making strides to bring this pain to the forefront, even if it was portrayed poorly.

More importantly, how are you? I've thought of you so many times over the past days and sent you many prayers. Sending you more love, prayers and thoughts of better days ahead.


Ebe said...

I didn't see this episode. I've never actually watched Desperate Housewives...
but I'm actually surprised that they even had a story line about pregnancy/baby loss. It will interesting to see how they follow this story line. How could it not affect everything about her character?
I don't know, but that's t.v. for you.

I hope you are well today- that the peace of God is filling everything around you.


He & Me + 3 said...

I don't watch TV at all, so I didn't see that is interesting that they included a story line about the loss of a baby. That would rub me the wrong way if I had seen the dad acting unemotional...maybe in the next few episodes he will let his feelings show.
I think it is harder for them to feel our pain because they went through it but not in a way that we go through losing a baby.

Holly said...

I didn't see it b/c I don't really watch that show but I think I saw a preview for it and I was like wow they're actually gonna talk about it?

Sarah said...

I finally watched it last night. I have mixed feelings about Tom and Lynette. 1 - Tom's eyes looked really heavy and were red but he was too "happy" when he said the baby died but he seem to try to be focusing on that the other baby was fine...on the other hand, I think that maybe he might have been a little relieved because he seemed pretty concerned when the Dr told them the baby could have developmental problems, etc. It may have been easier to accept death rather than a long term problems such as that for him or he could have been trying to focus Lynette on the positive that 1 baby is still doing great.

I dont know how far long Lynette is. She is good size but these are also her 5th and 6th babies and she was carrying twins so she prob wasnt as far as long as I thought. In the hospital setting, if a baby isnt born before a certain time frame they are termed differently and their deaths are sadly handled differently so that is why I wondered. In previous episodes she never mentioned that she knew what she was having.

Working in the NICU, men vs women always cope differently. It seems men are easier to accept and to cope with grief and little sooner than the mother esp. before the baby is born. The mother has already created a mother/child bond with the baby so I feel that everyone just handles every situation so differently.

I think of you often hun. If you every need anything, just give me a call...May 2010 bring you joy and happiness!

Oh and stay warm during this next snow storm....brr.

Jane said...

The did tackle it again this week.. not sure if you watched it. It was interesting- they tackled it- in the way of how 'babyloss' can impact communication in a marriage... it was pretty good... i kinda liked tom's reaction better than lynettes this week!

thinking of you. hope you are feeling ok