I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this story with anyone but family and close friends because I wanted to keep something just for myself but then I asked myself, why not share it? I will always have our special times together just for me, so what the heck, it's Thanksgiving and I am thankful my special little sparrow.
You may have noticed that I have a thing for sparrows. I cant get enough of them. And for good reason. They remind me of Bryston. In fact, I believe that Bryston and God send me these sparrows when I'm feeling particularly low.
It all started the day we drove home from the hospital. Its about an hours drive from there to our home. We were about halfway home when Ty out of no where says, "Look at that bird," and pointed at the front of his truck on the passanger side. So I looked. And what I saw I didnt think much of at the time but now I cherish this. A sparrow was floating and twirling almost dancing in the wind keeping up with Tys pickup. It was so close to the truck I worried for a minute that he'd hit the poor thing. The sparrow stayed there for what seemed like forever but Im sure it was just a few blocks.
That afternoon, my mom drops off some books for me. Books about miscarraige and pregnancy loss and healing books. She starts to tell me about one of the books and tells me that her favorite part of the book was how the author described our babies leaving, like the flight of a baby bird taking flight out of the mothers nest to make themselves a new home. That night I pick up one of the books and on the first page the author talks about being visited by sparrows and how she believes that birds carry messages from God. I still didnt really think too much about this yet so I keep reading then headed to bed for the night.
The next morning my sister sends me a text. She says that I should get a tattoo of a bird since Bryston's initials are b.r.d. Which I never gave a second thought to at the time either untill she brought it up. When I read her message it all clicked. I had been shown sparrows and birds up the wazoo yesterday, could these be messages from Bryston?
So for the next two months I recieved a sparrow visit daily. Some days it was literally a sparrow sitting on my deck and others it was in a scripture that found its way to me, on a shirt, or someone singing a song about it. On my first day back to work, a lousy day, I turned on the tv and was greeted with the news that Nicole Riche had named her baby sparrow! They always come in different forms, but I know that they are messages from him, to let me know that he loves me and to encourage me when times get tough. The sparrows always find their way to me.
I love that we have this connection. I cherish each and every sparrow sent. Lately, though, they are fewer and farther between, but thats okay. I just cherish the ones that I do get all the more when they arrive. So thats it, thats the fascination with Sparrows. I believe that they are messages from my perfect little man to his mama.
Today I am thankful for the blessing of being Bryston's mama. No matter how brief and painful. I couldnt have asked for a better title. I am thankful for my husband, family and friends and the support they give everyday in our grief. I am thankful that I have a job, a roof over my head and food in my belly. Wishing each of you a happy and peaceful Thanksgiving!
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Posted by The Blue Sparrow at 8:19 PM