Monday, August 24, 2009

One Month pt 2

As I was saying on my last post, today Bryston would have been 1 month old today if he had survived. I was asking for prayers to get me through the day today not only because of that, but because I had an OB appointment today And because I havent yet recieved our NILMDTS photos. I just wanted to post how the day went today.

It was hard and sad but I made it. My mom decided to go with me to my appointment which helped keep me distracted. We walked into the office and it was clear all the prayers were heard. The waiting room was empty. In fact I didnt see even one other patient the entire time I was there today. I am released from his care and dont need to see him again untill next year, unless I want to. For any of you who live in this area I really reccomend Dr. Wyatt as an OB. He was so wonderful and kind heartheated the entire pregnancy. He did let me in on the fact that I was the first of his patients in all of his 30 years to loose a baby to placental abruption. (It was a pretty serious case, obviously.)There were several things that could have caused the abruption but we'll save that for a different post. He said he thinks of me daily. Now who could ask for a better doctor than that? I asked the questions that I needed to ask and he answered each one, no matter how irrational the question and no matter how many times he had already answered it. The visit wasnt lacking of any tears mind you, but I handeled it better than my last appointment. My appointment was at 1 'o clock today so at 1:01pm (The minute of his arrival into this world) I was in the exact same presense as the man that delivered my handsome son one month ago on the dot. It was kinda cool.

After my appointment I stayed busy and distracted myself. I shopped at Walmart(quickly), did laundry and a little housecleaning, and began reading the book, Empty Arms. I again wept several times today but I had a calm peaceful feeling laid over me like a blanket as well. I felt all of your prayers today. Thank you. This is probably the first time in a month since I have been able to feel God's peace and strength.

No we didnt recieve the pictures today so please keep praying on that for me if you wouldnt mind. Its one of the only things Ive been able to muster up any enthusiasim for. I hope they turned out good. They said about 4 weeks, so I guess Im worrying prematurely about them being lost. I just need to see him so badly! I thought about emailing the photographer but I dont want to bother her since it has only been 4 weeks today. Maybe next week I will if they're not here by then.

Thank you all so much for the prayers today! I felt a peace that I havent felt in a long time. My prayer for all of you today is that you would feel that same peace that I recieved today no matter whats going on in your lives. God bless!


Anonymous said...

It's only been a month - must seem like forever and at the same time like it was just yesterday. You may find (we all grieve differently)that you will have good days - even weeks - and then one day it hits you hard. I still have bad days. It never goes away - it just becomes livable. I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy. I feel your pain, but I also know that our pain is our own - no one else can REALLY understand. I wish you well on your journey of grief. My only advice is - never forget him and try to find joy in remembering him.
Marissa (Daniel's Mommy)

ღJessicaღ said...

I am glad to hear everything went well at the appointment. Mom just called to let me know how it went. Dr. Wyatt is the BEST isn't he?!

I'll keep your photos in prayer...expecially for a speedy delivery!

Everyone is still praying here in Alabama!!

Sheryl said...

i have to tell you that i pumped my fist in the air when i heard that there was nobody in the waiting room. funny thing is i was going to be bold enough to put that in my written prayer on your last post, but i chickened out. God is in charge of the details.

if those pictures don't show up, they will have files saved to get more to you right away. praying that they show up this work so that you can see your bryston again.

Just Breathe said...

You were very brave today. Glad your Mom went with you. I am so sorry. I will pray that your photos will arrive quickly. Take care and God Bless.

He & Me + 3 said...

This post just made my night. I am so glad that you had a good visit with the OB. I will continue to pray for the safe arrival of the pictures.

Melissa said...

I have been thinking about you today. Glad that you had a pretty smooth day. I don't think that it would be wrong to email the photographer...they understand. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

Shanda said...

I'm so glad that you have an awesome OB who took the time to answer your questions and to spend the time that you needed for him to today!

I'm with Melissa - I think it would be totally o.k. to e-mail the photographer. No doubt they will understand and then you will at least have an idea of how much longer it will be. I am praying that the photos will have turned out beautifully!

May you continue to be filled with His peace. Crying is o.k. I've always loved this verse:

"You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,each ache written in your book." Psalm 56:8

His eye is never off of you - especially when you are going through difficult times.