Cemetary Visit

So Ty and I made our first visit to the cemetary yesterday to see where Bryston is laid to rest. This was alot harder than I thought it would be. I knew it would be emotional but it was way worse than that.

Since we didnt feel the need for a private funeral, Creighton took care of his burial for us. He is laid to rest at Westlawn HillCreast Memorial Park Cemetary in Omaha, Ne. They have 3 areas in the cemetary for the babies and my angel is in what they call Babyland no. 3. They did this for us free of charge. Bryston is buried with other stillborn babies, which I like the idea of so he isn't all alone. (Yes, Im aware that it is just his earthly body and not him, but its still comforting ok?) The only downfall to this is that he does not have his own marker. His marker will simply say something about creighton babies.

We found the cemetary with no problems. The paper the hosital gave us directed us to contact the office first so they could direct us to the appropriate site since there are 3 sites and we wouldnt know which one it was. So Ty called. The man on the phone gave him directions over the phone to the babyland sites. We pull up but only see the monuments for the other area hospitals and cant find the one for Creighton Hospital that he was born at. We explain to the man that this cant be the right site. The man on the phone then asks us if we're sure we're in the right cemetary and then tells me that he is in fact not sure where the Creighton babies are buried and that he is only sure where the limbs and severed body parts of other Creighton patients are buried. Nice, real sensitive! You A have not a clue where my baby is and B think that I as a grieving mother need to hear about the missing body parts of other people.

Listen I know I cant expect star treatment here. I mean the cemetary and Creighton did this all free of charge and without any trouble for us. Im really greatful for that, I am. I dont think I would have been strong enough to plan our own funeral service or take care of those details. BUT and this is a big But, when you agree to take care of my child and make me a promise that it's going to be a certain way it had better be the way you told me and you had better damn well know where my baby is!!

So we get to the office since were obviously not getting anywhere over the phone. Ty and I sit there for a good hour at least trying to figure this thing out and the whole time this guy is asking how we spell our name and Brystons, what day he was delivered on, and were sure that we're in the right spot? He keeps mentioning the fact that as a cremated baby he'd be in this spot and so on and so forth. Finally I loose it! Im bawling in the office because I cant stand to sit here and wonder where the hell my child is and wonder if he in fact was cremated when thats the last thing I wanted!

The guy finally comes back and says they in fact do have my little one and that no he was not cremated. Thank God! He then escorts us to the correct spot says his apologies and leaves us to greive.

My baby is exactly as they said he'd be. He is buried with the other stillborn babies that were delivered at Creighton. His plot is still unmarked as of yet. I am just relieved that I know the exact spot and location of Bryston. It was killing me these past few weeks not knowing. Its a little reasurance to me and makes me feel a little better in a time when everything is still pretty raw and the tinest thing will send me into an emotional breakdown.

Thats it for today I guess. I hope that all of you will never know the misforture I now face. Enjoy and treaure your loved ones and praise God for each day that you have with them.