Monday, March 28, 2011

Lil bit of this & Lil bit of that :D

I'm still here! I just haven't had much time lately to blog and I feel kinda guilty about that but I have still been reading your blogs as much as I can. I do think that school has been a good distraction for me. I feel like I've made so much more progress healing since I enrolled. I feel a sense of purpose and that really helps me. I feel like I might actually make some good come out of loosing my angels.

While the hurt is never far away, I can now make it through several tasks in a row without being wrapped up in Bryston & Peanut thoughts. That makes me a little sad too, in a way. I suppose because it really has been so long since I've had them with me. It seems like forever ago some days and other's it's as fresh as if it'd happened yesterday. Whatever it is; I'm making progress and that's what counts. I feel a little more like the old me now than I have in the past 20 months. I know that I'll never quite be the same again, but it is nice to have a bit of that carefree laugh creep back into my day to day life. My arms still ache from time to time and that clinching of my heart still happens when I hear another pregnancy announcement but it is getting a little easier.

My Grandmother passed away last Tuesday. She had been in the hospital for over 2 months and we all knew it was coming but still, my last grandparent is gone. She's in a better place and will be very very missed, especially when I'm needing to hear Psalms 91 or I'm in need of a good hot pan holder HAHA! My grandmother made tons and tons of hot pan holders, I have a kitchen drawer stuffed to the brim with them! I stuck one under the flower arrangement that my sisters and I sent to the funeral home for a personal touch ;D I think she would have gotten a kick out of that. I like to think that she is up there rocking my babies. That gives me such a sense of peace imagining her that way.

I had better get to bed, it's getting late. Goodnight!

In the Grip of His Grace,


Deni said...

Just good to hear from you! So sorry about your grandmother. Mine has been gone for years, but I still miss her often, there is nothing like a great grandparent! Lots of love friend and keep kicking tail at school, you're going to be great!! :)

Lisette said...

Glad you are keeping busy and doing well. So sorry about your grandma ((HUGS)). Although her passing is something you guys had a chance to prepare for it is NEVER easy letting go. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Shandrea said...

Glad to hear from you and know that you are well. I'm am sorry to hear about your grandmother. Sending you ((HUGS))

Anonymous said...

Great to read your blog, sorry to hear of your loss (both with our Grandma and your babies. May the Lord show His loving kindness.

Tricia said...

What a great blog you have Jennifer, I pray the Lord will use this to help others too! Sorry for our loss of Grandma and your babies. May God show You His loving Kindness.

Holly said...

I'm sorry for the loss of your grandma. I bet she is having a wonderful time being with your babies.