Thursday, January 27, 2011

In the grip of HIS grace...

The other day my Mom dropped off a book for me to read. It's called The Perfect Life by Robin Lee Hatcher. While I like the book and enjoyed the message, what stuck with me most is how she signed off at the end of the book. She signed off with; in the grip of His grace. I love that! What a perfect description! I feel like the past 18 months I've been exactly there, in the loving grip of his grace. What else but the grace of God could have been so tender with me during this time when I was at my weakest in faith? Months without praying and an anger at Him that knew no limits. His grace is truly the only thing. I think I'll be stealing this and I've decided that this is how I will sign off from my posts from now on. It's a good reminder to me of how he carried me the last year and a half.

Also the other day, my Mom was telling me that while she was talking to my sister about New Years resolutions my sister brought up an interesting point. She heard a pastor talk about making them and he said that he and his family don't make them. Instead they pick one word for the year that they'd like to live by. The first word that popped into my head was Hope. How strange that after everything, I still have hope. Again, a testament to God's grace. So what do you think? Did you make a resolution? If not, what word would you chose?

So Monday, marked 18 months for Bryston. I can't believe it's been a year and a half already. Unbelievable. I miss him more than ever. It's weird to think that I would have toddler crawling around the house by now. Sometimes I can picture it and others, well, my mind just wont go there. It's blank and I can't envision what my life would have been like. But others, I can see the little boy that he would have been; mischievous and adorable with a personality like his daddy. My mind fills in the blanks of what I don't know but think would have been. I have no idea what color his eyes were, but in my day dreams they're chocolate brown like his daddy's.

****SIGH*****

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
~Havelock Ellis. I relate to this quote so much. I understand what this means, more than any 28 year old should. My life today is filled with days of trying to hold on so hard that it physically hurts. While others; I'm filled with a gentle peace of knowing that one day we'll be together again. That God knows my heart and my deepest hurts and that he's right here beside me, holding me up and moving me forward.

Well, that's it for today. I have a massive pile of homework and I've got to get to work. I hope you all have a great weekend and that life is treating you kindly. (((HUGS)))


In The Grip OF HIS Grace;

3 comments:

Deni said...

We are all definitely in the Grip of His Grace! Love it, thanks for sharing!

Tiffany said...

I don't do Resolutions either because I always seem to never keep them. I like the idea of picking a word for the year.
I like your word, HOPE. It's quite a powerful word and with faith and love we can hope that GOD answers our prayers.
My word this year will be STRENGTH.
thank you for inspiring me.

Jenn said...

Yes, I did choose a word for the year, both last year and this year. You can read my post about it here: http://livelifeartfully.blogspot.com/2011/01/still.html#comments

I like that too: "in the grip of His grace."

Love to you in the missing of Bryston.