Monday, October 18, 2010

Foot in Mouth Disease


Ugh...I suffered from foot in mouth disease yesterday and today and now I feel like a total jerk! I hate it when I do these things! I get so wrapped up in my own grief sometimes that I forget that the world does not stop producing other kinds of problems for people outside of the infant/pregnancy loss bubble. I find myself all the time watching a program, or reading a book or even in a conversation that has nothing to do with loss and somehow my mind will weave it so it'll fit into the topic of baby loss. I have got to stop being so centered on this, I don't want this to define me but it seems that's exactly what I've let happen....

Am I alone in this or does your world seem to revolve around your loss too? Gosh, I hope I'm not the only one, LOL! The past year has been such a tough one I guess it's changed who I am but I don't want it to change how I care for and listen to people which seems of late to be the case....SIGH......

I'll be working on this so if we happen to know each other in real life and you catch me doing this please, give me a swift kick in the pants okay? I think I'll probably need a reminder a time or two before I can completely kick the habit ;)

And as often is the case, God brought this verse to my attention today, hmmmm...yup feeling convicted, gotta say, not one of my favorite emotions.....

Luke 10:27
And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”

And then I saw this one;
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

And now I feel better.....Im far from perfect but you know what? That's okay, I can admit when I falter and even look like fool sometimes. God understands and can handle my foolish days, and thank goodness for that too! Some days He must just roll his eyes and say, "That ole Jen is at it again, watch out!"


6 comments:

JenJen said...

Yeah, I've found myself evaulating a lot of the things that I say to people and having to remind myself that life is a matter of perspective. What's happened to us, although tragic, maybe wouldn't be anything compared to someone else's tragedy in their own opinion. Gosh, I hope that makes sense!

Franchesca said...

I love your honesty, and no it's not just you. I feel like my world revolves around my grief and when I'm not careful I can get in selfish mode... so horrible! I don't want it to define me either. Thanks for putting this out there Jennifer.

God is good to remind us of his promises of help, isn't he?

Holly said...

I'm getting to the point now where it doesn't revolve like it used to but it's still a big presence in my life.

Mary said...

I think it is supposed to make us sensitive to those needs in others, for where we have suffered, we are called to minister. I guess where we go astray is that we see it everywhere, and it always involves us. Don't worry, we all fall prey to that. But remember, we ARE called to see it, your experience opened your eyes on purpose to speak your heart and story and love others who hurt as well...

Drew's Parents said...

You aren't the only one! I still feel that way much of the time. It is hard to focus on other people's non-baby loss pain when my own grief still feels so raw. I hope that you were able to gracefully take your foot out...I know that is such an awful and guilty feeling! Hugs to you!

Mary said...

I do the same thing. I have to reign myself back to be in the present moment. I think it comes from being so alone in my grief that I want to share. I want to turn everything into my pain and what I went through. But like you said, I too am making the effort to not be so self involved. I am going to be present to help others through there sufferings.