Today, yesterday, this week it seems to be one of those weeks where the bad news and even a few tragedies seem to be just rolling in. That the ebe has yet to flow in with some good news.
Earlier in the week a local 17 year old girl got into a wreck with a semi. A beautiful, full of life teenage girl. She went home to be with Jesus on Wednesday. Yesterday a 3 year old was malled by a dog at a local motel. She escaped with her life, luckily but how awful! This morning I got some bad news about a friend. Without saying too much about her situation, let me just say it's dire. And horrible and scary and I wish I had an ounce of strength that she has. Her little girl caught my wedding bouquet. She is the spitting image of her mother and I worry about how she is handling the news.
And all of this news, these awful horrible things happening around me, all I could think is, what's the point? Horrible things happen every day. To random unsuspecting undeserving people. I would know. Every one of knows that a little too well, don't we? I just don't get it. Whats the point of all of these things happening? I wish I knew. I really do.
And then my next thought was; Don't I owe it to Bryston, to my friend, to all of the people that I have loved and lost along the way to live my life to the fullest? To enjoy every minute of this horrible tragedy filled life however I can? Don't I owe it to them to make a difference? To live and love a little harder, and to do and experience all of the things that life has to offer me that they will never get to enjoy? To feel all the sadness and all of the sorrow completely and to the fullest of my ability, for them, in honor of them?
I'm so tired of being cautious and holding back. I don't want to go through my life that way any more. I want to live a life that I can look back on and laugh and not even know where to start telling my story because I have just one too many. Good and Bad stories. Because that's life. We have the sadness and the tragedy so we recognize and appreciate the good so much more when it flows its way back in. So this is me, hoping to catch the next wave of good and to ride it all the way home with my arms outstretched and with laughter in my soul.
I'm going to embrace it, finally. Finally I get it. I may not understand or like that bad things happen to good people every day, but I'm here still breathing and living with half of my heart in Heaven and I can still say, that I'm not giving up. I will be here, living life, really living for once.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Posted by The Blue Sparrow at 8:26 PM