tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68571274809092715112024-03-14T04:08:30.141-05:00The Blue SparrowThe Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.comBlogger177125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-40220298818137543292011-04-28T23:33:00.005-05:002011-04-28T23:53:13.777-05:00I would die for thatA dear friend of mine sent this to me, and it brought tears to my eyes. I thought you all might like it too. (((HUGS)))<br /><br /><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JqfGqOx2iDQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />In the Grip of His Grace, <br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-44916737512362989972011-04-25T21:25:00.010-05:002011-04-25T22:16:21.321-05:00Would you or Wouldn't you??<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pFOqMz2qjRs/TbY2TSBN7CI/AAAAAAAABao/67OpTTVVnxE/s1600/cloning02.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 299px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pFOqMz2qjRs/TbY2TSBN7CI/AAAAAAAABao/67OpTTVVnxE/s400/cloning02.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5599722891564149794" /></a><br /><br />I logged onto my online Sociology class today and checked our threaded discussion. The question we had to respond to this week is about human cloning and if we support it, why or why or why not. <br /><br />I originally answered no, I don't support human cloning on the basis of ethical issues. I said that for one it's man playing God. Second, what about human rights? I said that human clones would run the risk of being forced to donate organs to their original human gene donor. Third, I said that it's dangerous. Most of the clones die and it can be dangerous for the mother as well. Last, can you imagine the psychological trauma of seeing a loved one who'd passed on walk down the street? <br /><br />At least that's how I answered this morning. I've been sitting here mulling this over in my mind all day. What if I could clone Bryston? I know logically that it wouldn't be him. That this clone would be a separate living being, but.....can you imagine it? I would get to see him grow up. I would get to hold him and do all the things with him that I'll never get the chance to. Do I really care that it's playing God if I had the chance to hold him again...??? No, I don't think I do. That's awful, I know, but it's the truth. <br /><br />It's torturous to think about this! I swear! There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do to have him back. But, it's not him. I know it wouldn't be, so why am I so fixated on this idea? It's so unfair! Who would have thought that a hot topic issue like cloning would affect me like this? It's so strange all of the things that can trigger my grief. I don't know if having a cloned version of Bryston would hurt or help me but the idea of it sure sounds wonderful from where I'm sitting. If it came down to it, I probably wouldn't, but even having to make that decision would rip me to shreds. I think the best thing would be to just ban it before it's even possible, avoid the whole thing before there's even an issue to torture yourself over. <br /><br />I just keep telling myself to just forget the idea. It's not even possible right now so why are you even wasting your time thinking about it? Ugh, I don't know. I guess I just can't see past myself rocking Bryston to sleep and thinking about how nice that would be.... <br /><br />Ugh....so what do you think. If you had the chance, would you do it? Do you think it would hurt you more or help you? So what do you say...to clone or not to clone? <br /><br /><br /><br />In the Grip of His Grace, <br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-77014481523364229532011-04-10T23:00:00.008-05:002011-04-10T23:15:08.046-05:00Sigh's...And more Sigh'sI absolutely love facebook, I do. But sometimes it makes me just want to scream, it's not fair! I think every one and their brother has posted pictures of their babies and kids today. Sigh....<br /><br />Logging in some days it feels like facebook is just rubbing it in my face. I should be posting pictures and reading all the <em>Aww</em>, <em>how cute</em>, and <em>what a doll</em> comments. The universe really sucks sometimes! I hate how I feel when I see a precious baby. Instead of thinking what a cutie they are I instead am reminded of what I'm missing. My family minus two. Big Sigh........<br /><br />I wish....well you all know what I wish. I guess it's just one of those nights. It's been awhile so I guess I'm due but I swear I'll never get use to how unpredictable grief is. It still sneaks up on me out of the blue and it still has the power to knock me on my butt. <br /><br />I tell God over and over, "Okay, I'm giving this to you, it's too big for me to handle," and yet I still can't seem to really hand it over. What is my problem? It's not like I want to be up all night crying and reliving it all so why can't I just let Him do what he does best, comfort? EXTREME SIGH.........<br /><br />I just need to lean on this verse tonight: <br />"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” <strong>~Matthew 11:28</strong><br /><br /><br /><br /><em>In the Grip of His Grace, </em><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-71331623868956968132011-03-28T23:18:00.009-05:002011-03-28T23:37:54.485-05:00Lil bit of this & Lil bit of that :DI'm still here! I just haven't had much time lately to blog and I feel kinda guilty about that but I have still been reading your blogs as much as I can. I do think that school has been a good distraction for me. I feel like I've made so much more progress healing since I enrolled. I feel a sense of purpose and that really helps me. I feel like I might actually make some good come out of loosing my angels. <br /><br />While the hurt is never far away, I can now make it through several tasks in a row without being wrapped up in Bryston & Peanut thoughts. That makes me a little sad too, in a way. I suppose because it really has been so long since I've had them with me. It seems like forever ago some days and other's it's as fresh as if it'd happened yesterday. Whatever it is; I'm making progress and that's what counts. I feel a little more like the old me now than I have in the past 20 months. I know that I'll never quite be the same again, but it is nice to have a bit of that carefree laugh creep back into my day to day life. My arms still ache from time to time and that clinching of my heart still happens when I hear another pregnancy announcement but it is getting a little easier. <br /><br />My Grandmother passed away last Tuesday. She had been in the hospital for over 2 months and we all knew it was coming but still, my last grandparent is gone. She's in a better place and will be very <em>very</em> missed, especially when I'm needing to hear Psalms 91 or I'm in need of a good hot pan holder HAHA! My grandmother made tons and tons of hot pan holders, I have a kitchen drawer stuffed to the brim with them! I stuck one under the flower arrangement that my sisters and I sent to the funeral home for a personal touch ;D I think she would have gotten a kick out of that. I like to think that she is up there rocking my babies. That gives me such a sense of peace imagining her that way.<br /><br />I had better get to bed, it's getting late. Goodnight! <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />In the Grip of His Grace,<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-50692786799683760332011-03-11T11:39:00.016-06:002011-03-11T12:20:07.316-06:00It must be love<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JI2E02ZbPes/TXpkX2-pD9I/AAAAAAAABaY/72Gdq39ovng/s1600/iloveyou2.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 380px; height: 380px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JI2E02ZbPes/TXpkX2-pD9I/AAAAAAAABaY/72Gdq39ovng/s400/iloveyou2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582885049137172434" /></a><br />Lately I've been questioning if Bryston knows or can feel just how much I love him. My heart tells me that he knows, and my head well that's full of conflicting thoughts. <br /><br />But yesterday leaves no doubts for me. I know he CAN! Yesterday was packed full of sparrow visits! When I went to the bank the drive through was covered with sparrows. The were everywhere! Even the people I was with pointed them out. Then I went to the movie, Gnomeo & Juliet, and I got another visit. I know most people would see these as coincidences and might say that I'm reading into them. But I'm not. I've had 19 months of being followed by sparrows. It IS NOT my imagination!<br /><br />The best visit was the last one I got yesterday. As I was leaving work I was flipping through the radio channels. And this is what I heard; <br /><br />It must be love, it must be love.<br />I fall like a <strong>sparrow</strong> and fly like a dove.<br />You must be the dream I been dreaming of,<br />Oh what a feeling, it must be love<br /><br />Something is wrong or right,<br />I think of you all night.<br />Can't sleep 'til morning light,<br />It must be love<br /><br />Seeing you in my dreams,<br />Holding you close to me.<br />Oh, what else can it be?<br />It must be love.<br /><br />I was stunned. I know that this was meant for me. That Bryston is saying, "Of coarse I know Mom!" I will cherish this visit more than any other I've gotten! No one was with me, it was just too obvious to be a coincidence. I've been questioning this for several weeks and here pops up my answer. Plain as day. It couldn't have been more clear if a giant billboard painted Your little sparrow loves you too had fallen over on my car. Today, I feel peace. I feel loved and most of all I feel blessed!!! <br /><br />By the way, I saw this little saying on a bumper sticker, and I chuckled; Body piercings saved my life & then it had a picture of Jesus's peirced hands. That'll get your attention, LOL! I thought it was cute...<br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A71oHuHz5Wg/TXpmjLmdonI/AAAAAAAABag/z1aI3Hf3EMw/s1600/untitled.bmp"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A71oHuHz5Wg/TXpmjLmdonI/AAAAAAAABag/z1aI3Hf3EMw/s400/untitled.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582887442674721394" /></a><br /><br />I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all;<br />but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess.<br />~Martin Luther<br /><br /><br />In The Grip Of His Grace, <br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-90086700683883452792011-02-17T23:57:00.009-06:002011-02-18T00:07:47.288-06:00Damn It Eve!<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-haS7VtGbRDM/TV4KaFN_-8I/AAAAAAAABaQ/TGOIe9CbW8Q/s1600/eve-with-apple-vector.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 380px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-haS7VtGbRDM/TV4KaFN_-8I/AAAAAAAABaQ/TGOIe9CbW8Q/s400/eve-with-apple-vector.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5574904831925025730" /></a><br /><br />Life just sucks sometimes, ya know? (Don't worry, everything with me is fine) I'm just so tired of seeing so many hurt & broken people everyday. Why does life have to be so hard? Do you ever just curse Eve in the back of your mind when life goes to the pot just because you know none of this would be happening if she hadn't taken that stupid apple? LOL! I'm joking, well kind of... :) <br /><br />Stub your toe, Damn it Eve! Lose you job, Damn it Eve! ;p <br /><br />Then life gets really hard & complicated and yes, I suppose technically she is to blame. But when things get really bad & you're left to just watch helplessly as people struggle through life, it's not so easy to blame her anymore. We live in a fallen world. That's it, bottom line. Things are always going to be screwed up here. Humans will always have trouble and will always have struggles until the next perfect life. <br /><br />****SIGH******<br /><br />I just wish it wasn't so hard. And back to my original point.....DAMN IT EVE!!! ;P<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-42939546889633020732011-02-14T13:07:00.015-06:002011-02-14T14:11:29.001-06:00Valentines & UpdatesI'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted or commented on your blogs! Things with school, work and just life in general have been super crazy! I feel so out of the loop, LOL! <br /><br />Let's see....About a week ago a friend of mine had her first grandchild so I went to the hospital with her to see the little cutie pie. As I walked into the room I went directly into the restroom to wash my hands before holding him. The minute I entered the bathroom I realized, this is the exact room they put me in the night we found out Bryston was gone. I didn't say anything. I wasn't even sure what to feel. I guess I'm still surprised that there are still "first" to go through after 18 months. I didn't really let myself think about it until I left to go home. It just brought back all those awful memories of that night. But surprisingly, I handled it alot better than I have in the past with other "firsts." <br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zO2YfNosydk/TVl_PnshqaI/AAAAAAAABZY/8V9BEqRbGuo/s1600/180706_202415789774227_100000174235691_940327_1976418_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zO2YfNosydk/TVl_PnshqaI/AAAAAAAABZY/8V9BEqRbGuo/s400/180706_202415789774227_100000174235691_940327_1976418_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573625920178203042" /></a><br /><br />My husband has taken up photography, and this is what he made for her grandchild. I think it turned out really well. He's already got a couple of other requests coming in because of this one. (Can you tell, I'm not proud or anything LOL! ;p) <br /><br />This past week has been kind of tough too. My Grandma is in the hospital and not doing very well. Her prognoses isn't good at all. We're at the point of just praying for her to pass easily & quickly. And to make matters worse, they've just put my Uncle in hospice care. Ugh...not a great week at all! When it rains it pours or so they say. <br /><br />Today is Valentines Day so Happy Valentines!!! Ty and I arent real big on celebrating small holiday's like this one or even really anniversaries so for us, today is just another day. But I do know that a lot of people out there love this holiday so for you, I wish you a very special day & hope you get everything you need & deserve. Lots of Love to you all!!! <br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-adr-wPD-hPs/TVmMNzUzWLI/AAAAAAAABaI/kXPzUh5YYtw/s1600/354544_full.gif"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 183px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-adr-wPD-hPs/TVmMNzUzWLI/AAAAAAAABaI/kXPzUh5YYtw/s400/354544_full.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573640182591346866" /></a><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zzR37sgRj4o/TVmMNrfX54I/AAAAAAAABaA/u523R_hMPJc/s1600/rmcn382l.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 356px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zzR37sgRj4o/TVmMNrfX54I/AAAAAAAABaA/u523R_hMPJc/s400/rmcn382l.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573640180488202114" /></a><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7RjkpvXPjb0/TVmMNA0FeWI/AAAAAAAABZ4/LfK8u7orQ7c/s1600/175-valentines-day-card.png"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 363px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7RjkpvXPjb0/TVmMNA0FeWI/AAAAAAAABZ4/LfK8u7orQ7c/s400/175-valentines-day-card.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573640169032350050" /></a><br /><br /><br />In the Grip of His Grace, <br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-41632143437228804342011-02-01T17:05:00.005-06:002011-02-01T17:08:37.112-06:00Hmm..Well that's strange! Or is it?Look at this picture my sister took today, do you see anything strange in the photo? <br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TUiR8zbJjaI/AAAAAAAABZM/fuhJGg6xmTM/s1600/DSC_0006.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TUiR8zbJjaI/AAAAAAAABZM/fuhJGg6xmTM/s400/DSC_0006.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5568861413025877410" /></a><br /><br />She was outside her new home taking pictures of the view and this is what she got. To us, it looks like a sun ray or light abnormality in the shape of a little bird! How neat is that! Bryston was sending his auntie some love! <br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-49011407837187750432011-01-27T11:41:00.013-06:002011-01-27T12:04:39.270-06:00In the grip of HIS grace...The other day my Mom dropped off a book for me to read. It's called The Perfect Life by Robin Lee Hatcher. While I like the book and enjoyed the message, what stuck with me most is how she signed off at the end of the book. She signed off with; in the grip of His grace. I love that! What a perfect description! I feel like the past 18 months I've been exactly there, in the loving grip of his grace. What else but the grace of God could have been so tender with me during this time when I was at my weakest in faith? Months without praying and an anger at Him that knew no limits. His grace is truly the only thing. I think I'll be stealing this and I've decided that this is how I will sign off from my posts from now on. It's a good reminder to me of how he carried me the last year and a half. <br /><br />Also the other day, my Mom was telling me that while she was talking to my sister about New Years resolutions my sister brought up an interesting point. She heard a pastor talk about making them and he said that he and his family don't make them. Instead they pick one word for the year that they'd like to live by. The first word that popped into my head was Hope. How strange that after everything, I still have hope. Again, a testament to God's grace. So what do you think? Did you make a resolution? If not, what word would you chose? <br /><br />So Monday, marked 18 months for Bryston. I can't believe it's been a year and a half already. Unbelievable. I miss him more than ever. It's weird to think that I would have toddler crawling around the house by now. Sometimes I can picture it and others, well, my mind just wont go there. It's blank and I can't envision what my life would have been like. But others, I can see the little boy that he would have been; mischievous and adorable with a personality like his daddy. My mind fills in the blanks of what I don't know but think would have been. I have no idea what color his eyes were, but in my day dreams they're chocolate brown like his daddy's. <br /><br />****SIGH*****<br /><br />"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”<br />~Havelock Ellis. I relate to this quote so much. I understand what this means, more than any 28 year old should. My life today is filled with days of trying to hold on so hard that it physically hurts. While others; I'm filled with a gentle peace of knowing that one day we'll be together again. That God knows my heart and my deepest hurts and that he's right here beside me, holding me up and moving me forward. <br /><br />Well, that's it for today. I have a massive pile of homework and I've got to get to work. I hope you all have a great weekend and that life is treating you kindly. (((HUGS)))<br /><br /><br />In The Grip OF HIS Grace; <br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-45796653114432106702011-01-12T11:16:00.018-06:002011-01-12T11:35:18.397-06:00One of those nights...<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TS3j1_fjy_I/AAAAAAAABZE/bTPx7sHm0HY/s1600/autumn_tree.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TS3j1_fjy_I/AAAAAAAABZE/bTPx7sHm0HY/s400/autumn_tree.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561351631588805618" /></a><br />Well, I had one of those nights again last night. The kind of night where I cant stop reliving the memories of the first 2 months after Bryston was born. I'd close my eyes and it was like I was right back there. Stuck in the middle of the whole thing and nowhere to turn. I tried distracting myself but I'm sure you all know how well that works. Whenever you try to make yourself stop thinking about something, it is the <em>ONLY</em> thing you can think about. <br /><br />I tossed and turned and relived the memories like it was yesterday. And the whole time I'm lying there I'm scolding myself because tomorrow is the first day of class. Eventually my pillow got soggy from the tears and I flipped it over hoping to get comfortable enough but it was lumpy and just as uncomfortable as the wetness of my tears. And wondered if it will always be like this, will I never reach complete peace? Will I ever again fall asleep the minute my head hits the pillow like I use to? <br /><br />And then I remembered a relaxation technique I'd heard about recently and decided to try it. You're supposed to visualize a tree in the fall. A lone tree in a pasture. And watch as a single leaf falls from the tree swaying back and forth slowly. Let me tell you, that's the last thing I remember! It worked and it worked well, LOL! <br /><br />Today, while the sun is shining and I'm my senses aren't dulled by the sleeping pill that I took I know that I cant rationalize these memories or feelings and that they ARE going to come whenever they want. I cant control how my mind is trying to deal with all of this, even 17 months later. But what I can do is accept that they are going to come, sometimes at inconvenient times, and what I need to do is work through them as they come. But when they get to that point of being stubborn & are interfering with my day/night I CAN choose to distract myself. The tree thing worked well for me but if that doesn't work for you I did hear of one other that might be just as relaxing for you; <em>Picture a dark room. Ten candles are lit and lined up. Now visualize yourself blowing them out, physically breath in & out deeply as your doing this. By the time you've reached candle ten, you should be relaxed. </em> I hope these help you as much as they helped me last night! ;p <br /><br /><br /><br />Nothing is permanent in this wicked world - not even our troubles.<br />--Charlie Chaplin <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-15348498720588361552011-01-03T14:11:00.018-06:002011-01-03T14:57:28.764-06:00Letting Go and Letting God....<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TSIywoBrAcI/AAAAAAAABY8/DaSNFzzOyIA/s1600/heart-shadows1.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 189px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TSIywoBrAcI/AAAAAAAABY8/DaSNFzzOyIA/s400/heart-shadows1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558060701088154050" /></a><br /><br />I'm not sure when it happened, but I'm not angry anymore. I don't feel that dark weight on my shoulders anymore and it's a good feeling. I remember trying to fool myself into thinking that I wasn't really as angry as I was. I would go months without praying and I'm ashamed to admit was even at times angry when I would see other people's lives working out for the better. <br /><br />I don't know if it's a combination of time and just being preoccupied with school but I genuinely feel better than I have the last 17 months. It's a good feeling knowing that when I pray (which is back to a regular schedule) it doesn't feel forced or out of obligation anymore. I just feel as if I've finally learned that lesson of letting go and letting God. There's not a thing that I can do change what happened but what I can change is what I do in the aftermath. <br /><br />I hope that this blog can be a place where you can come and be yourself through your grief and not feel ashamed of the feelings that you're going through. I hope that this site can help in some small way. For me, if I didn't have this community to fall back on while I wade through the murky waters of bereavement I don't think I'd be here. And I mean that literally. I believe with all my heart that I would be sitting in a mental ward somewhere without the love and support I've found here. Life is hard & messy sometimes and what gets you through is God's grace but other times it's a kind word from a stranger or someone who just gets it. <br /><br />Right now, today I feel a bit of acceptance. Not acceptance that my babies died, I don't think any Mother can ever fully accept that. But acceptance of the fact that I can't control what happened and that just simply; it did happen. Does that make sense? I don't know how else to articulate where I'm at now other than that. I had to let go of any sense of control I had and just trust God to do his thing. How I did that, I'm not sure but I do know that because I did I feel lighter and a bit freer. My hope is that you've found this bit of peace in letting go and letting God as well. If you havent, you'll get there all in His timing. <br /><br /><br />"Letting go doesn't mean we don't care. Letting go doesn't mean we shut down.<br />Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave.<br />It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment.<br />It means we stop trying to do the impossible--controlling that which<br />we cannot--and instead, focus on what is possible--which usually means<br />taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness,<br />and love, as much as possible." ~Melody Beattie<br /><br /><br />“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. ~Lao Tzu<br /><br />“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-55849589667336519662010-12-29T11:41:00.031-06:002010-12-29T12:36:31.569-06:00Are you having a bad day?If you're having a bad day, then you came to the right place. The doctor is in, I prescribe you to; <em>Watch these 2 videos and laugh your blues away!</em> <br /><br />(Be sure to pause my music player before you play these)<br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BnBau6fL8S8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BnBau6fL8S8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nayGM6tuvnw?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nayGM6tuvnw?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br />(I have to wonder if bed time prayers are this cute every night? LOL!)<br /><br />Out of the mouth of babes and infants, you have established strength because of your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger. ~Psalms 8:2 <br /><br />But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” ~Matthew 10:14<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-36670636462198573372010-12-28T12:09:00.007-06:002010-12-28T12:28:25.031-06:00I forgot to tell you guys that we got some awesome news about a week ago! Ty got a call from a woman he use to work with right before we found out that we were pregnant with Bryston & he got laid off. She recommended him for a job and he got it! He will be working at that same company (through a different company) as a quality inspector. We are so beyond stoaked about this! Finally some good news! He starts next week so please pray that this job works out! We really need this! Especially as the time gets closer for me to enter core nursing classes. I spoke to a girl yesterday who is taking the classes now and she said it's really hectic and that I might need to back off some hours at work when the time comes so this job could be our saving grace! <br /><br />God's provisions are truly enough & amazing! I've been praying for exactly this to happen & looky here! My family and I fasted through the days after his interview & it really paid off. I hate fasting, I do, I've never been one good with will power but I firmly believe that this is exactly why it work, because it hurts & it's no fun! If you have never fasted I highly recommend it! I have seen some truly awesome things come to be after fasting. Try it, just once and see for yourself. You will not be disappointed! <br /><br />Psalms 35:13 But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom. <br /><br />Matthew 6:18 That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-2005164628868800352010-12-24T14:58:00.004-06:002010-12-24T15:35:42.651-06:00<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TRURl_bDgII/AAAAAAAABYw/B5jo0G5QPHQ/s1600/imagesCAHBT7PB2.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 350px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TRURl_bDgII/AAAAAAAABYw/B5jo0G5QPHQ/s400/imagesCAHBT7PB2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5554365059809116290" /></a><br />I just wanted to wish each of you a very blessed & Merry Christmas! I know this time of year can be hard for all of BLM's, so I will be praying for each of you! This year the holiday's are a little bit easier for me to handle. I guess I'm just at that point of being able to celebrate that Bryston & Peanut have the best Christmas present of all; they get to celebrate the birth of Jesus in His presence! I can only imagine what an amazing site that would be. I know that they are safe and loved and I WILL see them again one day. While I'm still sad that they aren't able to be here with me, in fact I would give anything if that were so, but I'm far enough past the initial shock and hurt of it all to be able to be happy for them. May peace fill your hearts & minds today and tomorrow as we celebrate the birth of our Savior! <br /><br />It's almost Jesus' birthday...<br />So let us not forget.<br />To give to Him the present,<br />That He would like the best.<br />He doesn't want a stocking...<br />Hung upon the tree. <br />Or lots of toys or presents,<br />Like selfish you and me.<br /><br />He only wants our love for Him,<br />To shine out to the earth.<br />He wants us to tell others,<br />About His miracle birth.<br />He wants us to bring all we know, <br />To church to worship Him.<br />He wants us to remember...<br />He died for all our sins.<br /><br />Please focus on His birthday...<br />The sacrifice God made.<br />To send His Son to live and die,<br />So we could all be saved.<br />This tiny baby Jesus...<br />Born in a lowly stall.<br />He came to bring salvation...<br />To save us one and all.<br /><br />This Christmas has more meaning...<br />I'm calm and have such peace.<br />So let us bow before Him,<br />And worship at His feet.<br />The church bells now are ringing,<br />For you and I to bring...<br />Our gifts of praise and worship...<br />To our Savior and our King.<br /><br /><br />Merry Christmas Everyone & Happy Birthday Jesus!!! <br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-22073599903710010572010-12-21T13:19:00.013-06:002010-12-21T20:56:07.396-06:00A special delivery<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TRECudGabFI/AAAAAAAABYY/9lWWeo8dTd8/s1600/002.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TRECudGabFI/AAAAAAAABYY/9lWWeo8dTd8/s400/002.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553222812633295954" /></a><br /><br />I just got this in the mail a few minutes ago. It's from my niece Rylee who is 3 years old. She is such a sweetie! My sister, Jess, told me that she found Rylee drawing at the kitchen table all by herself the other day. This is the conversation that followed; <br /><br />Jess:<em> Me: What'cha drawing there babe?</em><br /><br />Rylee: <em>I am not babe. I am Sugar Plum.</em><br /><br />Jess: <em>You're right. What'cha drawing there Sugar Plum?</em><br /><br />Rylee: <em>I am drawing balloons for baby Bryston.</em><br /><br />Jess: <em>That's nice, Rylee.</em><br /><br />Rylee: <em>We could hang my picture on the fridge and a bird will fly by and take it to her. Ty will like it.</em><br /><br />Rylee: <em>What are we going to get Bryston for Christmas Mama?</em><br /><br />Jess: <em>Remember, Bryston's is in heaven babe.</em><br /><br />Rylee: <em>Yea but we could send him some more balloons to heaven.</em><br /><br />Jess: <em>Bryston all ready has the best gift of us all Ry.</em><br /><br />Rylee: <em>Yea, cause he has Jesus...</em><br /><br />My sister wrote; "(Jenn-Somewhere in the mail lies Rylee's picture. I didn't want to wait for a bird to deliver it to you, but I thought maybe you would want it. Somewhere in this picture is a bird, sun, balloons, angel and a movie. I am not sure what kind of movie but she insist it is in there. If you can find all of these things in her picture you are a better person then I! LOL. The kids talk about Baby BRD all the time.)"<br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TREDTxr1hvI/AAAAAAAABYg/bLYEDQs-bEI/s1600/DSC_0150.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 301px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TREDTxr1hvI/AAAAAAAABYg/bLYEDQs-bEI/s400/DSC_0150.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553223453814130418" /></a><br /><br /><br />A week or so before that Jess and her husband took the kids out to Red Robin for supper. The restaurant gives each of the kids a balloon after their meal. As they are waking out Jess's oldest, Jaydn walks outside and says, "Bryston needs another balloon," and lets his float up to Heaven for Bryston. And that's not even it, the last time they were home to visit Jaydn had gotten a bag of those animal shaped rubber bands that are so popular now. All on his own he dug out the bird shaped rubber band to give to me! When he handed it to me Jess says; "He's been saving that for you and was so excited to give it to you!" The kindness of her children melts my heart and I'll never be able to explain how good it feels that even though they never got to meet their cousin that they still include him in their lives. As I write this I have tears but not of sorrow, of joy. Joy that my sweet Angel has wonderful cousins who love and remember him! <br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TREDuWu5dkI/AAAAAAAABYo/T-kIk83TrK4/s1600/155182_1741106726109_1191926812_1952353_5238345_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 293px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TREDuWu5dkI/AAAAAAAABYo/T-kIk83TrK4/s400/155182_1741106726109_1191926812_1952353_5238345_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553223910435681858" /></a><br /><br />*****************UPDATE****************************************<br />I forgot to mention my oldest sister Michelle! Sorry Shell! She and her 2 little one's brought me the prettiest 2 blue sparrow ordaments for Bryston's tree! They make such a pretty addition and the lights sparkle off thier little wings! Thank you Michelle, Jason, Kaylee, & Connor!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-36523680932140854752010-12-21T12:02:00.005-06:002010-12-21T12:29:55.351-06:00A Sparrow's Christmas<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TRDyCpK615I/AAAAAAAABYQ/Z9EFfgVuxNA/s1600/3156960016_ec8779f504.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 377px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TRDyCpK615I/AAAAAAAABYQ/Z9EFfgVuxNA/s400/3156960016_ec8779f504.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553204467773134738" /></a><br /><br />I ran across this Christmas story today & wanted to share it. It's festive, sweet, and of coarse includes my favorite, Sparrows! Who would have thought, LOL? <br /><br />Mette's Christmas Miracle, By Harrison Woodard<br /><br />A long time ago there was a flock of sparrows. They lived near a small farming village in Norway. <br />Just before Christmas it started snowing. For two days the blizzard raged covering everything and making it impossible for the birds to leave their tree. <br />The flock began to worry. <br />“What are we going to do? If the snow continues, we will never find anything to eat,” said Markus. <br />“Maybe we should have flown south with the other birds,” said Lina. <br />“We have always survived the winter here. We will survive this one as well,” said Jonas one of the older sparrows. <br />Mette listened to the older birds. If Jonas was not worried, she wouldn’t worry either. She found a warm spot and fell asleep.<br /><br />For two more days the snow continued. The flock became even more concerned. <br />“I don’t understand. The weather has never been this bad for so long. I don’t know if we will make it,” said Jonas. <br />Now that Jonas was starting to worry, even Mette was concerned. Before she went to bed she asked God for help. <br />“Dear God, I know you will provide all we need. Thank you for protecting us,” prayed Mette. <br /><br />The next day the birds peered out at the raging storm. It was a dismal sight. The snow and the wind made it impossible to fly anywhere. <br />“Jonas, what will we do?” asked Markus. <br />“Will the storm ever end?” asked Lina. <br />“I think we are in trouble. Even if the storm ends, it may be weeks before we can find any food. The snow will be too deep. It will cover everything,” said Jonas. <br />All the birds were very sad. There didn’t seem to be any hope.<br /><br />Mette listened to everything the other birds said. As the youngest of her flock, she rarely would say anything. But she knew she had to say something. <br />“Don’t you believe God will take care of us?” asked Mette. “He has always given us everything we needed. Why wouldn’t He keep His promise now?” <br />The other birds admired Mette’s faith, but they saw the snow and heard the howling wind and saw no way God could save them. <br />“Mette, God has many things He has to do. He can’t always save us. Sometimes it is up to us to save ourselves,” said Jonas. <br />The other birds agreed. <br />Mette lay down and thought about what Jonas said. <br />“God, that just doesn’t make any sense,” she prayed softly. “I know that you will supply everything we need. I am going to trust you and not the other sparrows.” <br /><br /><br />The next day was Christmas Eve. The weather outside was the worst it had ever been. The snow was coming down so hard that you couldn’t see more than a couple of feet. There was absolutely no way the flock could leave their tree. <br />The sparrows gathered together to discuss their options. <br />“I don’t think I can last another day,” said Markus. “I’m very hungry.” <br />“Me too,” added Lina. <br />“I just don’t know what to do,” said Jonas. <br />They had lost all hope. <br /><br /><br />Off in the village came the faint sound of Church bells. The sparrows listened to the music. It was very pretty and brought a brief moment of relief to their despair. After the bells stopped, the birds sat in silence. <br />And Mette said, “Did you hear the bells? This is Christmas Eve. The night God gave His Son. If He is willing to give His own son, He will certainly provide our food.” <br />The other sparrows wanted to believe, but all they could see was the raging blizzard. They saw no way that God could provide anything for them. <br />“Markus, don’t you believe?” asked Mette. <br />Markus thought for a second, “I believe I do.” <br />That night, Mette bowed her head and prayed, “God, thank you for giving Jesus to the world. I know that you love my flock and will provide everything we need.” <br />Mette found a warm spot in the tree and fell asleep. <br />It was another long and cold night.<br /><br />The next morning, Markus was the first to wake up. He felt the warm sun on his feathers and took off on a short flight to stretch his wings. <br />The snow had stopped and it was a sunny Christmas morning. Markus flew over the village and was surprised by what he saw. He immediately flew back to the tree. <br />“Mette! Wake Up! It’s a miracle!” shouted Markus. “Everyone, come quickly,” <br />Soon the whole flock was following Markus toward the village. <br />During the night, the people had placed sheaves of oats on poles and rooftops throughout the village. There was plenty of food for everyone. Barn doors, gables, and gateways throughout the village were decorated with grain. There would be plenty of food for the whole flock all winter. <br /><br />“Just like you said Mette, God will provide everything we need,” said Markus. “I will never again doubt God.” <br />That day the sparrows celebrated Christmas by feasting on all the food they had gathered. Never again would any of them ever doubt God’s ability to provide everything they needed.<br /><br />And from that day forward, in villages throughout Scandinavia, people continue to place food out for the birds at Christmas. No human knows exactly why this custom started. But God knows. He was responding to the faith of a little sparrow named Mette. <br /><br /><br />I thought that was a cute Christmas story. And then I stumbled across this verse that I'd never seen before. <br /><br />How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young, a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you. Psalm 84:1-4<br /><br />I'd say these we're my Sparrow visits for the day ;p <br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-52579804907301169112010-12-18T00:12:00.004-06:002010-12-18T00:15:40.986-06:00So this is going to sound kind of insane but it's just one of those things. I have a message. For who I don't have a clue but I am compelled to share this. Whoever you are, whoever this is for you need to know; <br /><br /><em>It's never too late.</em> <br /><br /><br />That's it, simple short and sweet. Do you ever just feel compelled to say something when you're not sure where in the heck it came from? Well that's exactly what this is. I hope this message is what you need exactly when you need it. God Bless you, whoever you are. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-56683446671657936932010-12-13T11:23:00.005-06:002010-12-13T11:38:01.066-06:00The SpeechI didn't chicken out, I gave the speech! The night before and the day of I was a nervous wreck! My hands were shaking and I was kicking myself for not picking an easier topic! <br /><br />But I felt all your prayers and I did make it through! Not without tears, but I wasn't the only one who cried. A few audience members cried as well which to me meant they "heard" really "heard" what I had to say. All in all, I think it was a success, even though I cried in public which I HATE to do, LOL! It felt kind of good actually to get up there and talk about Bryston and what Richard Olsen is doing with his organizations. At first I felt a bit naked and exposed but the more that I talked the more that I realized that it was a good thing. My 8 minutes of being uncomfortable might (I hope) make a difference someday. <br /><br />Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your prayers & support last Thursday! I'm sorry that it took me so long to update you all on how it went, it's finals week and I literally think I have steam coming out of my ears, haha! I cannot wait until this week is over!! <br /><br /><br />In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - 1 Thessalonians 5:18 <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-35296566550030676852010-12-07T20:19:00.004-06:002010-12-07T20:31:03.762-06:00Stillbirth SpeechI recently told you all about a tribute speech that I have to give on Thursday. I was debating on whether or not to talk about stillbirth and I'm really worried that I wont be able to make it through without breaking down but I decided to go ahead & do it. They need to know. I wish I'd known. I wanted to let you all read what I'll be saying Thursday. I know it's long, it had to be. It has to be 8 minutes long, so I'm sorry for that, but if you decide to read it all the way through, let me know what you think. And please, please, please pray for me Thursday! My class starts at noon & I go fourth so I should probably be speaking between 12:20 and 1:30ish. I'm really going to need some backup to get through this w/o tears! <br /><br /><br />The man I chose to pay tribute to might make you a bit uncomfortable, and that’s okay, he stands 4 a pretty taboo subject. So taboo in fact, that I wasn’t sure that I could go through w/ talking to you about it. But what someone recently told me really struck a cord, she said, “you know, 15 years ago people didn’t talk about interracial couples but now; we don’t even blink an eye when the subject is broached.” And that is what I hope to accomplish today, and it’s what the man I will be talking to you about is actively working towards. Usually I try to get up here and make you laugh, but not today. There’s nothing funny about what I’m going to talk to you about. <br /><br />The man is Richard K. Olsen. Richard is the founder and Executive Director of the National Stillbirth Society and the Missing Angels Foundation. Richard and his wife experienced stillbirth firsthand when their daughter Camille was born still full term in August of 2000. Stillbirth is defined as the death of baby in the mother’s womb after 20 weeks gestation. Olsen formed the 2 organizations when he was unable to find any advocacy groups that were working to force medical & government agencies to use their resources 2 eliminate stillbirth worldwide. <br /><br />Richard say’s he formed the National Stillbirth Society to Educate, Agitate, and Legislate for greater stillbirth awareness, funding for research, and legislation to recognize these babies’ births by requiring states 2 issue a Birth Certificate. Only 23 states offer parents a birth certificate, only one of our surrounding states does this, Missouri. Most, including Iowa & Nebraska offer parents only a death certificate, even with the hours of labor these mother’s go through only to deliver a dead child. The National Stillbirth Society offers the public information, a means of support, research, and a forum on which parents can actively discuss their babies, as well as fund raising opportunities. The Missing Angel Foundation is the fund raising arm of the National Stillbirth Society and operates a memorial site for the babies. <br /><br />Stillbirth can happen to anyone at any age. In fact all you have to do to be at risk, is get pregnant. Annually there are 26,000 stillbirths a year. For the majority of Americans the term stillbirth is a thing of the past. Most believe that if the pregnancy survives the 1st trimester that the danger has passed. But that’s just not true. The sad fact is, that stillbirth is still very common and the chances that you yourself one day be a victim of it or know someone dealing with the harsh reality, is pretty good. The topic of pregnancy loss, stillbirth and infant death isn’t something people talk about very often. It’s a sad topic, one that most people don’t know how to respond to. Olsen seeks to take the shame & secrecy out of stillbirth. <br /><br />Did you know that stillbirth is ten times more likely than SIDS? For every 1 case of SIDS there are 10 cases of stillbirth. And yet, you don’t hear a lot about stillbirth. Raise your hands if you knew that any of the following people had experienced a stillbirth: The poet Alfred Tennyson, Christie Brinkley, Henry the 8th, Keanu Reeves, Oprah, Jacquie Kennedy Onassis, Barbra Bush, or Michael Jackson & Elvis Presley’s mothers? How about Jennifer Davison? <br /><br />My son, Bryston, was born still July 24th, 2009. I was 7 months pregnant when we found out that our son’s heart had stopped beating. I labored for 56 hours to deliver our son only to walk out that hospital with empty arms and a broken heart. We got a death certificate instead of birth certificate. I didn’t get to plan a baby shower; I get to design his headstone. <br /><br />Stillbirth is unpredictable and random. Richard says it’s like the lightning strikes in a thunderstorm. There is no way to know when or where it will strike next. And what’s most frustrating is that ½ to 2/3’s of all stillbirth cases happen because of unknown reasons. Autopsies if done, rarely uncover any cause. <br /><br />When the public first became nationally aware of SIDS there was a public outcry for research. Because of that public outcry we now have more information than ever before on SIDS. Now we have the back 2 Sleep Campaign and a list of warnings of what not to do. To date, there is no such list for stillbirth. Most people don’t even know what it is. Olsen is working to change that. The death of a baby is isolating and lonely and confusing. People are uncomfortable bringing up your child’s name so they avoid the topic. They hear about the tragedy and then carefully tread around the family to avoid causing them pain. Through Richards organization’s families are able to openly talk about their children in a time when they desperately need to share. <br /><br />Because of its randomness and in most cases, lack of any warning, Olsen calls stillbirth, “An Equal Opportunity Destroyer of Dreams.” It can happen in all economic classes, races, body types, religions, and any maternal age group. No woman is immune to stillbirth, even women who’ve had successful pregnancies before. Stillbirths can happen to a crack addict or a step ford wife. A woman can do everything right and recommended and still experience a stillbirth. There is virtually nothing a woman can do or not do for that matter to cause a stillbirth. <br /><br />Olsen also advocates for legislation on insurance companies to pay for additional testing that might give Dr’s a hint that something might be wrong. My doctor didn’t offer any of those tests to me because my insurance wouldn’t cover it and the tests are very expensive. Had I had those tests, my son might have had a fighting chance. American Insurance companies dictate how a woman’s pregnancy is managed, not the doctors. And why would the insurance companies offer voluntarily to add those tests to the list of allowed treatments? A few years ago, women everywhere fought to have birth control covered by their insurance companies, and won; costing them millions. I ask you, what’s a human life worth to you? Is that enough of a reason why we should let them ignore our health and the health of your future children?<br /><br />If it’s so common, then why the secrecy? It was surreal the amount of women who crawled out of the woodwork to tell me about their experiences with it. Sometimes I wonder if all of those things were happening all the time and I just didn’t notice before or if they only felt comfortable telling me after I joined the club that no one wants to be a part of. Women, especially in older generations were told to just move on as quickly as possible, to forget their baby and to try as soon as possible for another one. The problem with that, is that it’s just not that easy. We lost a child, not a fetus. These babies are a part of us, they were loved and wanted and are very missed. Our babies are not replaceable. My biggest fear is that Bryston will be forgotten, that he didn’t count to people when he’s the most important thing that ever happened in my life. <br /><br />That’s why organizations like Richards are so important. They make our babies count and worth remembering. Think of your parents, brother, sister, and the few of you with kids, think about them for a minute. What would your life be like right now without them in it? What if they’d been born still? Would you be able to move on so easily without them? Would you ever be able to replace them? Wouldn’t you want someone like Richard to stand up and try his damndest to make sure that these things don’t ever happen again? How important would it be to you that your future child never has to bury their own? Because that’s exactly what we’re talking about here. Don’t let stillbirth be a dirty little secret. Join Richard and demand that something be done like with SIDS. Join Richard and I in the fight against stillbirth, at www.stillnomore.org. Thank you. <br /><br /><br />But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear ; do not be frightened."<br />Take Courage<br />1 Peter 3:14<br /><br /><br />Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it."<br />Ezra 10:4<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-61492549925574312812010-11-23T11:22:00.004-06:002010-11-23T11:30:17.723-06:00An Early Happy Thanksgiving<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TOv50XnSLlI/AAAAAAAABYI/162LcYmzauw/s1600/untitled.bmp"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 281px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TOv50XnSLlI/AAAAAAAABYI/162LcYmzauw/s400/untitled.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542798444496825938" /></a><br /><br />I probably wont be on for the next few days so I wanted to wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving! This year I am thankful for the blessings of family. It really is true that there is no greater than gift than family. And of coarse I'm thankful for the few short weeks that I had my precious babies with me. They're never far from my thoughts as I'm sure your angels aren't either. Another thing I'm thankful for is God's grace because I'd be no where without it. How lucky are we that have such a loving and forgiving God!?! <br /><br />I ran across this lil poem today & thought it was cute;<br /><br />May your stuffing be tasty<br />May your turkey plump,<br />May your potatoes and gravy<br />Have nary a lump.<br />May your yams be delicious<br />And your pies take the prize,<br />And may your Thanksgiving dinner<br />Stay off your thighs!<br /><br /><br />Amen to that! Haha! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-43969106106197605352010-11-21T22:20:00.009-06:002010-11-21T22:38:01.778-06:00The Upcoming HolidaysIt's hard to believe that we're entering a second holiday season without our little man. Last year I was still so in the thick of it, I could barely even think of celebrating. But this year, I'm determined to have a bit of joy with the season. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday but last year I couldn't even muster putting up our tree. I did manage to put up a small tree and decorate it with all of Bryston's things though. <br /><br />This year, I'm actually looking forward to putting up our tree. It still hurts knowing that 2 very special little angels wont be with us to celebrate but I think I'm at the point of knowing that even though they're not here physically, they're never very far from us. <br /><br />I'm nearing the end of my first semester at school and so far pulling down all A's! Woo Hoo! I really am shocked at that, but I know in my heart that all praise there goes to God. I couldn't be doing any of these things without His help. In fact I wanted to ask you guys something....<br /><br />Our final speech is supposed to be a tribute speech and 8 minutes long. 8 MINUTES! So far our longest speech has only been 4 minutes so that in itself is wreaking my nerves! The teacher said it has to be about someone famous that we've never met and that has made an impact on our lives. The only person that I can even think of doing is Richard K. Olsen, Founder & CEO of the national stillbirth society. But here's my delima; so far I've only done 1 serious speech and I got so emotional I was almost in tears (about my Dad's wreck). All of my other speeches have been humorous not to mention the fact that the majority of the class is high school kids. I doubt they'd even care. But on the other hand, they need to care. They need to know about that this is a real thing that happens. I'm so stinking nervous about this one! I'm scared that I'll get up there and be a big ole blubbering mess! What do you think? Would you do it? <br /><br /><br />Also, for those of you also entering the 2nd holiday season without your angels with you, how do feel this year? Do you feel better able to enjoy the season or are you planning to do anything special in their honor? <br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-56449644720311179002010-11-10T11:30:00.004-06:002010-11-10T11:43:15.251-06:00Last night I couldn't fall asleep. I kept thinking about Bryston and 1 ridiculous thought. I know it's irrational and wont make sense to most but once it passed through my head, it's all could think about. I thought about how cold Bryston was and I never put a hat on him. Not once. A good mother would have put a hat on him....So I spent the night crying because I sent him off cold wrapped in a thin blanket and no hat. <br /><br />*SIGH*<br /><br />There are so many things I wish I had done with him while I had him with me. I didn't cut a lock of hair, or bathe him, or dress him. I just held him. I have no idea what his belly button looked like. How awful is that? I only unwrapped him to take the pictures, not to look him over. Doing anything more never crossed my mind. I wish it had. They even gave us a stupid hat for him but it just never occurred to me to put it on him. I think I was just to out of to think straight. <br /><br />I know it doesn't really matter, that it was just his shell, so I don't know why this bothered me so much last night. I know all of this logically but it still makes my heart heavy that I didn't do more with him. I should have spent more time with him while I had the chance. I guess hindsight's 20/20, I just wish it didn't hurt so much sometimes. Ugh....guess it's one of those days.......<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-56336931822991914622010-11-09T16:06:00.015-06:002010-11-09T16:27:31.816-06:00It's the little things.....I just got home from class and checked my email and I had a new email from Katy & Kristie from <a href="http://anchoredbyhopeministry.blogspot.com/">Anchored by Hope. </a> At the end of August they decided to start an Anchored By Hope Memorial Sketchbook project. Their book will travel to 5 major cities in the USA (where you can view it in person) before it finally ends up at that Brooklyn Art Library where it will be digitized, and put online for everyone to view. They invited all of us BLM's to join in the fun and fill out a form. The theme was, You would have been home by now. <br />Well Bryston's page is done and she emailed the page! It turned out soo beautifully and I am so excited for Bryston to be a part of this amazing project! Just think, people all over the USA will be reading about our Angel's short lives and maybe just maybe people will start to feel a little less threatened by the topic of baby loss. <br /><br />(If this is too small to read you can click on it & enlarge what I wrote about the theme & Bryston)<br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNnHoV2MESI/AAAAAAAABYA/Fcb6-v_urc8/s1600/Bryston%255B1%255D.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 259px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNnHoV2MESI/AAAAAAAABYA/Fcb6-v_urc8/s400/Bryston%255B1%255D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537676712701858082" /></a><br /><br /><br />Thank you soo much <a href="http://hannahshonor.blogspot.com/">Katy</a> & <a href="http://deliveringhopeforhannah.blogspot.com/">Kristie</a>! <br /><br /><em><strong>I do not cease to give thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers.<br />~Ephesians 1.16<br /><br />Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change<br />~James 1:17</strong> </em><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-90730858385943660292010-11-03T18:45:00.001-05:002010-11-03T18:46:28.528-05:00EDD & hurt feelingsThis may be a long one so put on your slippers & grab a cup of coffee. I've been meaning to post about Bryston's expected due date which was Oct 12th but things have just been crazy around here. So on the 12th I had scheduled the meeting with the Cemetery to look at headstone options since I knew I'd be up there anyway visiting Bryston. <br /><br />The meeting went well. We came up with 3 options. 2 in granite and 1 in bronze. The phrase, Remembering the brief lives of you children won out on the votes so I went with that. Each has a different design on it so now the next step is to schedule a meeting with Creighton and they can pick which is their favorite. I started off thinking I'd like the black granite the best but when I saw all the options I had her draw up the sketches with the rose colored granite. It was really pretty. The bronze option color will look like the picture below. I did opt for the angel & birds in both top corners. The rest of the designs I'll wait to share until we have a final option picked out. <br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHlY4wpnxI/AAAAAAAABXI/P4wC4EVzhrc/s1600/001.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHlY4wpnxI/AAAAAAAABXI/P4wC4EVzhrc/s400/001.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535457632731111186" /></a><br /><br />After the meeting I went and spent a little time at Bryston's grave. I decorated & released balloons in honor of his EDD. <br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHms2_ktLI/AAAAAAAABXQ/hfEkDTBxZFI/s1600/008.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHms2_ktLI/AAAAAAAABXQ/hfEkDTBxZFI/s400/008.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535459075365844146" /></a><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHm9di3JzI/AAAAAAAABXY/Qp-XeONway0/s1600/014.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHm9di3JzI/AAAAAAAABXY/Qp-XeONway0/s400/014.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535459360592308018" /></a><br /><br />Someone asked recently if the babyland's are marked. Yes, they are. The signs look like this. <br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHorHqBwlI/AAAAAAAABXg/YylebYbsIMk/s1600/056.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHorHqBwlI/AAAAAAAABXg/YylebYbsIMk/s400/056.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535461244502393426" /></a><br /><br />Babyland 1 has a really neat plaque that I wanted to share. I thought the saying was kinda sweet so here's the picture of that too. <br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHpItQ1KDI/AAAAAAAABXo/favjWaZFGkg/s1600/035.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHpItQ1KDI/AAAAAAAABXo/favjWaZFGkg/s400/035.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535461752813463602" /></a><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHpT0ZikeI/AAAAAAAABXw/4RuGoAHGTTs/s1600/036.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHpT0ZikeI/AAAAAAAABXw/4RuGoAHGTTs/s400/036.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535461943707603426" /></a><br /><br />Babyland has a plaque with the if tears could build a stairway saying on it but I forgot to get a picture of that while I was there. <br /><br />The next thing I wanted to tell you about happened a week or so ago in my speech class. We had an assignment. The teacher gave us an worksheet with a story on it that had fill in the blank spots. We were supposed to read them aloud to the class. I had filled mine out about the mosque at ground zero (that's a whole nother post haha!) Anyways it went something like this;<br /><br />Thank you all for inviting me here today. When I was asked to speak to you, I was told you were interested in hearing about......<em>Blank</em>.....and about....<em>Blank.</em> And I do want to talk to you about these things. But before I do, I want to take a few minutes to talk to you about something else....you get the picture. <br /><br />I hate public speaking so I was putting it off waiting for my turn. Then a girl got up (a girl in high school, most of the class are high schoolers). She got to the first fill in the blank; I was told you were interested in hearing about...comedians and about...<em>dead baby jokes.</em> Insert the class laughter. <br /><br />*SIGH* I thought I was going to lose it. I wanted to get up and slap this girl! What in the world would make her think this was funny much less an appropriate topic choice? It was not done maliciously, she has no idea about Bryston but still, it was like a punch in the gut for me. So I sat there trying to hold back the tears. I never did get up there and give mine. I couldn't. Not after that. I just let the teacher assume everyone had had their turn. While I'm sitting there listening to the rest of these assignments and feeling lower and lower a note gets passed to me by another high school girl, one of whom does know about Bryston. Here's the note she passed; <br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHuA01XptI/AAAAAAAABX4/3IiLk0ZeVGM/s1600/from+catie.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wjX4BdX5k1U/TNHuA01XptI/AAAAAAAABX4/3IiLk0ZeVGM/s400/from+catie.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535467114964952786" /></a><br />What a sweet gesture! The woman that sits beside me, I'll call her J, is in a few of my other classes. She's become a friend to me and after class I was letting off steam and telling her how it irked me that this girl was so insensitive. And she reminded me, she's young, she didn't mean to hurt me, teenagers say & do things all the time that mystify us so not to let this get me down. And she's right. This girl had no idea how hurtful that would be to me. And then you've got the other high school girl who knew just how much seeing Bryston's name means to me. Teenagers will never make sense, so why should I let this get to me? I think I'm just over sensitive about this topic and that's my problem, not hers. I'm letting it go. It hurt me yes, but there are things said & done everyday that sting so I better get use to it.....<br /><br />Then this weekend I got a text from my friend A. (I told ya this would be a long one!) She let me know that she had left me something in my mailbox. When I got home from work I pulled out a letter and 2 bead & wire dragonfly's. AWWW! Here's what the letter said in a gist; <br />A few years ago a lady walked up to my friend as we were talking about life. She handed my friend a beaded dragonfly and said, "I'm not sure what you need right now but I noticed your situation, and I'm giving you a dragonfly to use as a symbol of <em><strong>hope</strong></em>." And she walked away...It went on to tell about how dragonflies spend 2 to 5 years in the mud before they crawl out a dragonfly ready to fly, and once they do they can never go back into the darkness of the mud. The story teller said that the story of the dragonfly spending 5 years in the mud let her look at her life differently that she had spent too many years in the darkness & mud herself. She said that after many years her wings were wet and heavy and not yet ready to fly but she realized that she wasn't breathing in God's word so she realized that she needed to reach out to God to rescue her out of the muddy pit. Even that over the next few years life brought many more muddy pits her way her response to them was different because like Isaiah said 40:30-31-"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who <em><strong>hope</strong></em> in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Ring a bell? I've posted about this very Scripture several times) <br /><br />The letter asks you to keep one dragonfly and to pass on the other so someone in need of a little hope. How neat is that!?! I cant wait to pass on the other dragonfly! Thanks A! <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6857127480909271511.post-71722512868242425292010-10-25T16:03:00.009-05:002010-10-25T16:15:44.176-05:00Rabbit HoleToday I noticed a few other BLM's posting a link on FB about this upcoming movie. So I checked it out, and all I can say is WOW! I barely made it through watching the trailer clip but I cannot wait to see this. Finally a movie about what life after the loss of child is really like. How hard and unbearable the days are and how every aspect of your life changes right down to how you relate to others & spouses. My favorite part of this clip is when one of the mom's says, "God needed another angle, he had to take her." And Nicole Kidmans character says,"Why couldn't he have just made one? Another angel? I mean he's God after all! Why didn't he just make another angle, hunh?" I cannot even tell you how many times I've had people say this to me, and I felt very much the same way. No he didn't, he didn't need my baby. What he will do is take my loss my very real and painful loss and turn it into something good and for his glory. And then the shot of her crying in the car could have been taken directly out of my life and yours. The car especially seems to trigger meltdowns second only to the shower. I don't know what it is about those two places for us but I know I've heard alot of say the same exact things. <br /><br /><object style="background-image:url(http://i4.ytimg.com/vi/cosIHGRfs2w/hqdefault.jpg)" width="480" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cosIHGRfs2w?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cosIHGRfs2w?fs=1&hl=en_US" width="480" height="295" allowScriptAccess="never" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><br /><br />I know that this will be a very emotional and hard movie to sit through but how nice to actually have something like this showing what it's like. I cant wait to see this. What do you think? Will you be going to see it or will you skip it because it'll be too emotional? Me? I will be going, but then again, I'm a sucker for sad sappy movies. <br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/331/2011870FD1EFFB8417BC905D51BD0BE4.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>The Blue Sparrowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08196234778836756227noreply@blogger.com11